Always my Megan

My niece, Megan, was born just two and a half weeks after my daughter, Molly. Cousins so close in age with names fit for twins. I have always treasured any picture that I have come across of Molly; like a pirate's treasure--they hold me captivated. I like this picture because you can see that while Megan is younger than Molly, she is the stronger baby. She is pulling herself forward on this warm day in August, while Molly is only able to sit up because she has had help. 

You can also see Molly's shunt, or as Emily and Austin referred to it, "Molly's bump". I don't hate Molly's shunt, I am so thankful that we had that technology so that we could have her for the time that we did. Had our sweet angel been born 50 to 70 years earlier, she and I probably both would have died in childbirth. So, rather than focus on how certain things went wrong, I am thankful for all the things that went well. 

It's obvious why this next photograph is one of my favorites of the two cousins. The smile on Megan's face is a little mischievous, and Molly seems to be looking at Megan with a little uncertainty. I wish I knew what they were communicating to one and other in this photo. It is obvious that they have some signals flaring.

Another reason I love this picture is because Molly is holding a black olive, and to be quite honest, if not for this photo, I would have no recollection of Molly liking olives. It makes the olive more precious for me. It gives me another small connection to her. 

I do not know who they are smiling at, perhaps it is one of their fathers, either my brother or my husband. Maybe they are giggling at Emily or Austin. But, someone obviously got their attention and got them to laugh. Little baby cousins. Smiling on a Christmas morning.  Early on, when Molly first passed away, people thought that I was going to have a difficult time being around my niece and watching her grow. It was said to me that Megan would be a reminder of what I had lost. I always thought that was silly, because as close as Megan and Molly might have been in age, they were so different in personality and aptitude. Plus, Molly has a sister, Emily, and if I was going to have a hard time watching anyone grow up, surly it would be the one with whom she would have shared a room.  And, so for me, it was never an issue that Megan grew up, and Molly stayed young.

My beautiful niece will turn 18 years old this week and I am filled with pride and joy about the woman she is becoming. Since her parent's divorce and subsequent remarriages, she is the only girl among 7 brothers. She has been active in cheer and has excelled academically (@ my HS Alma mater!). She loves reading (and actually reads my blogs!). She walked the isle this summer as the Maid of Honor for Emily's wedding, which was the one moment in the 16 years that Molly has been gone that I felt a twinge of pain with the Megan/Molly connection. But, on such a special day, wouldn't I have missed my Molly anyway? Megan never needed to fill in a gap for me to love her. She is my Megan. Never my Molly, always my Megan.